The idea of someone you love and trust being unfaithful is a scary thought. But, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen to you or your partner. Even in happy and healthy relationships, partners can be tempted by the prospect of an affair.
In fact, nearly 25 percent of married men and women will have an affair at some point in their marriage — often when they feel their relationship isn’t meeting their needs or they simply aren’t getting enough attention from their partner.
While anyone can be the victim of infidelity, certain risk factors make you more susceptible to a spouse straying from your side. If any of the following statements ring true for your relationship, consider implementing these seven tips to help protect your marriage from infidelity and keep the red-hot romance alive!
Talk about the problem before it becomes an issue.
When it comes to protecting your marriage from infidelity, communication is key. If one or both of you have been cheated on in the past, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about what happened and how it affected you.
If the subject is something you’ve been avoiding, you’re likely both carrying around some unresolved emotions and might be hesitant to bring it up. You might be worried that your partner will get defensive or feel like you’re attacking them. Or, you might feel ashamed and like you have to pretend like it didn’t bother you as much as it did.
Whatever the case may be, you must talk about it so that any unresolved feelings don’t build up to the point of becoming a source of resentment in your relationship.
Don’t neglect physical affection.
While we’re on the subject of communication, let’s talk about physical affection — and not just sex. We’re not saying that having better sex will magically prevent your partner from having an affair. Rather, we’re saying that being more affectionate overall will help foster a more connected and intimate relationship.
Physical affection can include holding hands, cuddling, expressing gratitude, giving back rubs, foot massages, and more. All of these little (and big) gestures go a long way in showing your partner that you love, appreciate and are connected to them.
When we’re physically affectionate with our partner, oxytocin (the love hormone) is released, which helps us feel more connected to our partner and decreases our feelings of stress and anxiety.
So, while it might seem silly to hold your partner’s hand while you’re at the grocery store or give them a foot massage while you’re watching TV together, it goes a long way in fostering intimacy.
Be transparent with each other about your needs and wants.
To protect your marriage from infidelity, it’s important, to be honest with your partner about what you want from the relationship and what you need from each other.
This doesn’t mean you have to lay out your entire life plan for them, but it does mean that you should be open about what you want to see in your future together. This could include talking about where you see your relationship going, what you want to achieve professionally, what you want to do on the weekends, and more.
Conversely, it’s important to be transparent with your partner about the things you need in the relationship, too. This could include talking about your expectations around the division of household chores, time alone and with your partner, what your financial expectations are, and more.
It’s important to be transparent with each other about your needs and wants because it creates a sense of openness and honesty in the relationship. Plus, when you’re transparent with your partner about what you need, you’re less likely to get resentful when your needs aren’t being met.
Set healthy boundaries — and stick to them.
Boundaries are important in every relationship, but they’re even more important when it comes to protecting your marriage from infidelity. It’s important to set boundaries with your partner about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with.
This can include talking about what you’re okay with sharing on social media and what you aren’t okay with sharing, setting limits on how often you have sex and where you are having sex, and what you are and aren’t comfortable doing sexually (i.e., anal sex, using sex toys, etc.).
Once you’ve set your boundaries, it’s important to stick to them — even when you feel like you’re being pressured to change them. If your partner is being pushy about having sex more often than you’re comfortable with, for example, it’s important to communicate your boundaries and stick to them.
If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, it’s a red flag that your partner doesn’t respect you and isn’t committed to a healthy relationship.
Try new things together as a couple.
To protect your marriage from infidelity and keep the red-hot romance alive, try new things together as a couple. This could include trying a new restaurant or exploring a new part of your city or state, going on a new adventure, trying a new fitness class together, or even learning a new skill together (e.g., playing chess, learning another language, etc.).
There’s something about doing something new and challenging with your partner that not only helps foster a sense of adventure and excitement in your relationship, but it also helps you build new memories together.
When you’re trying new things together, you’re not only creating new memories, but you’re also helping to strengthen your relationship by giving you more to talk about, new things to learn from each other, and a source of commonality between the two of you.
The more you challenge yourselves to learn new things and do new things together, the less likely you are to become complacent in your relationship and the less likely you are to be unfaithful to one another.
Be proud of your relationship and remind each other why you fell in love.
At the end of the day, the best way to protect your marriage from infidelity is to be proud of your relationship and remind each other why you fell in love. This means being proud of your partnership and each other’s strengths, skills and accomplishments.
It also means reminding each other of what you love and appreciate about each other, including the traits and qualities that attracted you to each other in the first place. It can be easy to get complacent in a relationship, especially when you’ve been with the same person for a long time.
But, it’s important to stay connected to your partner and stay reminded of why you fell in love with them in the first place. This can help you fight off any temptation to stray from your partner and keep your relationship strong and healthy.
Lastly, trust your gut and speak up if something doesn’t feel right.
Lastly, when it comes to protecting your marriage from infidelity, trust your gut and speak up if something doesn’t feel right. If you feel like your partner is withdrawing from you or if you feel like they’re spending too much time on their phone or computer, that could be a sign that they’re unfaithful.
Likewise, if you’re the one feeling tempted to stray from your partner, it’s important, to be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way.
For example, if you’re feeling tempted to stray from your partner because you feel neglected, it’s important to communicate that to your partner. Likewise, if you’re feeling tempted to stray because you feel like your partner is being neglectful, it’s important to communicate that to yourself.
Only by being honest with yourself and your partner can you truly protect your marriage from infidelity and keep the red-hot romance alive!
