When you’re in a new relationship, any old paranoia about your partner being unfaithful seems absurd. How could they? You’ve only been together for three weeks and you are so totally in love with each other! In the first flush of romance, it’s easy to ignore those messy little red flags that suggest you’re both still relatively new to one another.
That said, if you can’t see yourself with this person long-term and know their flaws — or your own — might cause problems down the road, then an affair probably won’t work out. But what if things change? What if things get challenging? And what if you find yourself falling in love with someone else?
All of these are real possibilities after dating someone exclusively for a limited amount of time. Even with the best intentions, it happens more often than not. Luckily, there are some ways to affair-proof your marriage before it even gets to that point.
Don’t Rush Into Things
We all want to believe the best about ourselves, and we want to believe that the person we’ve just met — and who is telling us how awesome and perfect we are — is telling the truth. However, going from dating once or twice to moving in together or getting engaged after only a handful of dates can be a sign that you’re not ready to settle down.
Fortunately, this is an affair-proofing tip that can help you avoid being in a relationship that isn’t right for you. Not only will slowing down give you more time to get to know each other, but it can help you see if you have any red flags that might cause issues in the future. You may also be able to avoid the jealous feelings that come when you’re in a long-term relationship with someone who’s constantly with you.
Communicate Your Expectations
If you’re not sure if your partner is looking for a serious relationship, you’re going to have to talk about it. If you’re both single, it’s reasonable to assume that neither of you are looking for marriage.
However, if you start seeing someone who has kids from a previous marriage, or who is still in school, or who is otherwise focused on their career, it’s important that you ask yourself what your partner really wants in the long term.
If you’re the one who’s more focused on your career, or who has kids from a previous relationship, you’ll need to be honest with your partner. You don’t want to lead them on if you’re not interested in a serious relationship, and you don’t want to lead yourself on either. It’s better to know sooner than later if you’re not on the same page as your partner.
Establish Boundaries
There are a lot of differences between people that can cause issues in a relationship. If you and your partner are both single and dating, you can choose to date other people as long as you both agree on it. If you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t interested in dating other people, you may have some issues on your hands.
However, if you and your partner are both in committed relationships, you’ll need to establish some boundaries. If you’re both dating other people, you can agree to not see one another too often. You can also decide not to share any details about your relationships with your partner. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be nosey.
Be There for Each Other
If you’ve spent a few months dating someone who is in a relationship with someone else, you’ll need to decide if you want to be there for your partner if they need you. If you’re both single and dating other people, you’ll probably have to help each other through break-ups and make-ups as much as you can.
If you’re both dating other people, you may want to agree on when you’ll be there for your partner, and when you’ll need some space. However, if you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you’ll have to decide if you want to be there for them through break-ups or birthdays. You don’t have to be best friends with their long-term partner, but you should be there for your partner when they need you.
Don’t Treate Your Partner Like a Stranger
If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you may feel like your partner is a stranger. You may find yourself avoiding them or being rude, or you may only want to see them when you need something or have something to prove. If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you probably shouldn’t spend much time with them.
However, you should treat your partner like a person. If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you shouldn’t try to get close to their partner. You shouldn’t invite them to your parties or go out with them. You shouldn’t share personal details with them. If you don’t treat your partner like a stranger, it will be easier for your partner to handle dating you.
Hold a Weekly Date Night
Dating someone who has a long-term partner can be difficult. You may feel like you have to sneak in time with them, and that can create some real issues. If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you may want to establish a weekly date night. If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you can set aside one night every week where you and your partner can be together.
You can go out to eat, or you can do something as simple as renting a movie and ordering in. This will give you time to get to know one another, and it will also help you keep your relationship from negatively affecting the relationship between your partner and their partner.
Watch Out For Red Flags
If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you’ll want to watch out for some red flags. If your partner has trouble communicating with their partner, then you might want to look for an alternate way to communicate with them. If your partner tends to be flaky or unreliable, you may want to reconsider how often you see them.
If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you need to watch out for your partner’s red flags as well. If your partner frequently complains about their relationship, or talks negatively about their partner, you may want to reconsider dating them. If you have strong feelings for someone who has a long-term partner, you have to be careful. You have to consider what your feelings may say about you, and you have to consider what they may say about your partner.
Bottom Line
Affairs can be devastating to a relationship, and unfortunately, they can happen to anyone. If you’re dating someone who has a long-term partner, you have to be careful.
You have to make sure that you’re honest with yourself about your feelings for this person and that you’re not letting yourself get carried away by the romance of the situation. If you can keep these tips in mind, you can affair-proof your relationship before an affair ever has a chance to happen.
